Growing a Christmas Tree

Growing a Christmas Tree is Important Stuff seeing how Christmas is coming really fast! Here is a guide to Growing your very own Christmas Tree.

1. 
   Make sure you have enough space to grow the tree. Have a lot of space. Take roughly that much space.. and maybe double it! I know I have enough space because I measured it. Generally speaking you should always have measurements. These can be anything provided the numbers for the space you need are smaller than when you measure the room.
2. 
   First I measured how high it was... Don't forget to allow plenty of room for my--- errrr Your presents UNDER the tree (over didn't work well when we tried it). Here I am checking something called Height. Take down the number you see at the bottom of the tape - and make sure when you grow your tree it is less high than that.
   
   Be careful when taking the measurements or this may happen!
3. There is another measurement called Width which is also important. Here I am carefully checking Width:
   
   If the tree is too wide, you might lose presents or worse stuffed bears under it! Make sure to carefuly note the Width as people seem to like having both height and width together, don't ask me why...
4. 
   Always start off with Good Quality Dirt. Don't skimp on dirt - the dirtier the better! Hey Buddy! Get your own dirt! This dirt looks sufficiently dirty. You may or may not wish the dirt to be "contained" in a "container" that is up to you. As my wrangler is a neat freak he insisted I use the container.
5. Dig a hole large enough for the Christmas Tree seed to be buried up to the neck. Many of you mistakenly believe these things are called "ornaments". I don't know about these "ornaments" but I do know about Christmas Tree seeds!
   
6. Bury the Christmas Tree seed in the dirt. Call them ornaments or seeds or whatever what you want, but you can't have a Christmas Tree without them! This particular seed was taken from last years' tree which was a very good year indeed as I got everything I asked Santa for!
   
   
7. 
   Water carefully. Too much water and the tree will be too big. Not enough water and the tree will be too small. Water it just right! DO IT!
8. Now for the boring part. Take a nap during this phase folks, it's a real snoozer! B-O-R-I-N-G!(but necessary) Here you simply wait for the tree to grow....like so.
   
   
9. After your nap, turn around and VOILA!
   
   If all your planning went right, you now have a Christmas Tree!

Back from the Holidays!

 I'm Very Very Busy!  

We've all been there, that Very Very Busy Time leading up to the Holidays.  Those 10 minutes you've left yourself to organize everything, buy all your gifts online and get everything ready for the Perfect Holiday?

Did last year's solidly determined "This will NEVER happen again.  This year I'm going to be WAYS more organized and get everything done in August" elude you too?

How to Be "Busy" at Work Right Before the Holidays in 5 easy Steps:

1. This one is EASY!  DO NOTHING!  STOP IT!  You're doing Stuff, I can tell!  Stop right now, just sit back and relax, and do nothing.  Just sit there and read, or Facebook, just hang out, make and drink lots of coffee.  That's it!  Make and drink lots of coffee!  Isn't this Easy?
2. Tell everyone that you are very very busy! 
   
   
   This one sounds funny but bear with me.  People tend to believe everything they hear.  What better way to have them believe that you are very very busy than to just tell them that!  Here, with the benefit of modern office technology, I can tell thousands of people that I am very very busy in a single day! 
3. Write your Holiday Gift List.  This is especially well-suited to using up a day at the office!  Here you can get very very busy indeed!  I asked for pretty much everything in the Toy Section of the Sears Catalog.  This had to be typed, and then printed.  For this job I found the biggest, fastest, laser printer in the building and then told everyone that I needed it because I had a "Special Report" to do.  Make sure to send a copy to that gift-giving guy Santa, and send it Priority Post because there isn't much time!
   
4. Sign up for "Various Other Duties" that you think will be a good chance to show off your people, organizational, or management skills. 
   
   Make sure once you have signed up for the "Various Other Duty" that you form a committee, and have many coffee meetings!    In my case I signed up for the Fridge Cleaning for the week.  We had a great committee meeting, and then it was time to clean the fridge! 
   
   What a wonderful job!  All that food in there.  So much food, and all kinds of different food.  There was something for everyone!  I did get a tummy ache in the afternoon though.  Who knew Yogurt could go bad? 
   
5. Wait around for that "Very Important Report" that Someone else is working on that is mission-critical for you to move forward with your own show-stopping project.  In this case, it was waiting for Santa to reply to my 300 page letter!