Friday, December 23, 2011

Growing a Christmas Tree

Growing a Christmas Tree is Important Stuff seeing how Christmas is coming really fast! Here is a guide to Growing your very own Christmas Tree.
  1. Make sure you have enough space to grow the tree. Have a lot of space. Take roughly that much space.. and maybe double it! I know I have enough space because I measured it. Generally speaking you should always have measurements. These can be anything provided the numbers for the space you need are smaller than when you measure the room.
  2. First I measured how high it was... Don't forget to allow plenty of room for my--- errrr Your presents UNDER the tree (over didn't work well when we tried it). Here I am checking something called Height. Take down the number you see at the bottom of the tape - and make sure when you grow your tree it is less high than that.
    Be careful when taking the measurements or this may happen!
  3. There is another measurement called Width which is also important. Here I am carefully checking Width:
    If the tree is too wide, you might lose presents or worse stuffed bears under it! Make sure to carefuly note the Width as people seem to like having both height and width together, don't ask me why...
  4. Always start off with Good Quality Dirt. Don't skimp on dirt - the dirtier the better! Hey Buddy! Get your own dirt! This dirt looks sufficiently dirty. You may or may not wish the dirt to be "contained" in a "container" that is up to you. As my wrangler is a neat freak he insisted I use the container.
  5. Dig a hole large enough for the Christmas Tree seed to be buried up to the neck. Many of you mistakenly believe these things are called "ornaments". I don't know about these "ornaments" but I do know about Christmas Tree seeds!
  6. Bury the Christmas Tree seed in the dirt. Call them ornaments or seeds or whatever what you want, but you can't have a Christmas Tree without them! This particular seed was taken from last years' tree which was a very good year indeed as I got everything I asked Santa for!
  7. Water carefully. Too much water and the tree will be too big. Not enough water and the tree will be too small. Water it just right! DO IT!
  8. Now for the boring part. Take a nap during this phase folks, it's a real snoozer! B-O-R-I-N-G!(but necessary) Here you simply wait for the tree to so.
  9. After your nap, turn around and VOILA!
    If all your planning went right, you now have a Christmas Tree!

Monday, September 19, 2011


Hello there!

It's been a while since I've posted anything here... Such is the life of a busy Bear!

I just had the most Amazing Day filled with all kinds of things stuffed bears like! (If you're curious, you can always refer to my handy guide to What Bears Like.)

Here's a little about it:

There are many days of the week. In fact, some would say there are as many as seven!

I don't really know how many days there actually are because bears aren't that good at math and counting, but I typically don't disagree with the "experts". I just know that on this particular day, let's call it Sunday, I had an Awesome Day!

Today's events were centered around a few things from that list.

Start with Coffee

Today was a BONUS SUPER SPECIAL DAY!  I was First in Line for coffee!  YAYS!  As you can see morning traffic can get pretty hairy around the coffee pot.  Here I am with the twins Russ and Russty, and Barry.

Barry is a bit of what we call a "free thinker" around here.  You will notice that he's holding a wine glass. 

It's best not to ask too many questions about him, but apparently he feels like many bears -- that coffee is like fine wine, and therefore should only be enjoyed using the appropriate stemware!  He was last in line because he took forever to find the right glass... I don't even remember if he got any coffee!

Once the coffee was looked after, we get down to business with....

Hunting for Chocolate

Chocolate is a bear's Prime Objective. Seriously! OMG we are finely tuned chocolate hunting machines. One sniff and we can tell you everything there is to know about any molecule of chocolate within a thousand kilometers!

Here we have a very grave situation indeed!  Very very grave.  tsk tsk tsk!  my handler has somehow neglected his care of me.  Just look at that container!

You can see the bottom of it!


Well, good thing it's grocery day!  I made sure that chocolate was on the shopping list, that's for sure!

What (little) chocolate was left in the container went into the coffee to make a bear's favourite beverage: the often imitated Top Secret mocha-choco-wacka-lacka-latte!  Essentially it's coffee flavoured chocolate fudge.

Oh dear, I've said too much!

Once the Coffee and the Chocolate situations were under control (barely), it was down to business, I decided to go through some paperwork and Hello, that`s this?!


That settles it, Road Trip!

Quickly Quickly now!

Fame and Fortune (and Cupcakes?)

I told my Handler to drop everything and get me to the cup-cakery! This was Important! (see I even had it underlined)

...except on the way there, my agent called.  He told me that they were making a movie near the cupcake place.  *sigh* So duty calls. I am doing this for my adoring public.

I mean look, it's not like I need the money.  Hello!! FREE CUPCAKE?

Still, work is work, and I need to keep my creative output up. I'll call this a "side project" and that way if it fails, no worries!

I show up on location, but it's pretty quiet - almost deserted:

*crickets chirping in background*
So obviously this is a waste of my time.  I call my agent... and start chewing them out. This is cutting into my cupcake time!

Please don't ever call me again!

etc. etc.

While I was making the call, somewhere along the line they called "Quiet on the Set!". I was pretty wrapped up complaining to my agent. If they really wanted it quiet on the set before they started the film rolling, they should have asked more loudly so that I could have heard what they were saying.

Well, as I was still yelling and screaming after they asked for quiet, my side project hopes looked pretty dim:

So I did what every celebrity does when things don't go well on a "side project":

I went for lunch.

Every lunch tells a story and here's mine:
  • Salad - indicates: "austerity measures are in effect".
  • Chicken on Salad - indicates: "although money is tight things aren't all that bad"
  • Sunglasses - indicates "still on the A list for getting into night clubs"
  • Fork in right Hand - indicates "not really into art films. Think action / adventure"
  • Dressing on the side - indicates "I was passed over for the last action / adventure lead role because of weight issues but am working with a personal trainer."
  • Herbal Tea - indicates "Anger management issues"
 After lunch, which I didn't really eat.. (it's really about being SEEN isn't it?)  I decided to check out the:

Free Cupcake!
When sussing out free cupcakes, it is vital (again with the underline) to scope out the source.

This place looked legit.

So I moved in for the Kill......
Here I am sauntering into the store like it's nobody's business!

They will not see me coming and "BAM"!

"Yo Lady, Make with the free cupcake and then I'll just be on my way..... yeah that's it.  No false movies and let's just get this over with."

 I'll leave with my cupcake and you'll have that piece of paper you were silly enough to leave lying around with the words "Free Cupcake" written on.

Things didn't exactly go according to plan....

I mean LOOK AT THEM ALL!  they are so CUUUTE!  and numy and chocolate-y and cup-cakey and RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!  OMG !  AND YOU WANT ME CHOOSE JUST ONE?  JUST ONE? *SOB*

I later found out that the FREE CUPCAKE coupon I had was good for a Jumbo cupcake.

At this point I had already made plans for eating several of the mini-cupcakes, so I bought them too....

It looks like I'll be eating salad for a little while longer when I "do lunch".

Oh well, it was worth the added expense for the Free Cupcake that I got.

I couldn't wait to get home and sort and store them and look at them... soo pretty!  OMG!  Hurry Hurry!  I can still smell them.

Helllooooo!  Why isn't there a taxi when you need it? I am having a crisis.

Once again.... things didn't exactly go as planned:

I accidentally licked one... to see if it was going to be any good.

*cough* Things sort of lost control after that. At least I think so. the details are sort of sketchy in my mind..  just know that instinct took over and.... RAWR!

So much for saving them.....

Winding Down (or maybe a time out... Still unclear.)

After all the excitement of a Very Busy Day, a bear needs to unwind (and it takes time to burn off the sugar). So I did a couple of things.

I played some World of Bearcraft.  this is normally very relaxing, except today for some reason.

Today we had a daily eating quest assigned to us by some guy in the game town.who's asking us to do stuff, like, every day.

I was supposed to gather and eat 100 cupcakes!

OMG!  Did you see that?



Die monster Die die DIE DIE!!! (you knew that was going to be underlined)

Okay, so perhaps not the best choice for relaxation... my handler quickly shut down the video game and suggested another option:

Watching the laundry channel.

This is very soothing indeed... watching the clothes go round and round. Just sit with a friend and some snacks... and watch.. and sit and watch..

and sit...

hmmmm glad that's not me in there...


Huh?  What's Bedtime already?

Okay... I'm sorta sleeeep......ZZZzZZZZZzzzzz!

heh well, my handler managed to get me upstairs and I got ready for bed.


I pretended to have Rabies while I was brushing my teeth!  What do you think?  Convincing?  Hehehehehehe.

It was a pretty long day for me.  I got my handler to tuck me in and then it was time for sleep.

Hope you all had a good Sunday too!


*bear hug* Biff

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Facebook Anyone?

Hey there!

You can now follow me on Facebook for short, up-to-the-minute updates, fun photos and status posts!

Take Me Away!! to the The Small Brown Bear's Fabulous Book of Face Page!