Friday, December 23, 2011

Growing a Christmas Tree

Growing a Christmas Tree is Important Stuff seeing how Christmas is coming really fast! Here is a guide to Growing your very own Christmas Tree.
  1. Make sure you have enough space to grow the tree. Have a lot of space. Take roughly that much space.. and maybe double it! I know I have enough space because I measured it. Generally speaking you should always have measurements. These can be anything provided the numbers for the space you need are smaller than when you measure the room.
  2. First I measured how high it was... Don't forget to allow plenty of room for my--- errrr Your presents UNDER the tree (over didn't work well when we tried it). Here I am checking something called Height. Take down the number you see at the bottom of the tape - and make sure when you grow your tree it is less high than that.
    Be careful when taking the measurements or this may happen!
  3. There is another measurement called Width which is also important. Here I am carefully checking Width:
    If the tree is too wide, you might lose presents or worse stuffed bears under it! Make sure to carefuly note the Width as people seem to like having both height and width together, don't ask me why...
  4. Always start off with Good Quality Dirt. Don't skimp on dirt - the dirtier the better! Hey Buddy! Get your own dirt! This dirt looks sufficiently dirty. You may or may not wish the dirt to be "contained" in a "container" that is up to you. As my wrangler is a neat freak he insisted I use the container.
  5. Dig a hole large enough for the Christmas Tree seed to be buried up to the neck. Many of you mistakenly believe these things are called "ornaments". I don't know about these "ornaments" but I do know about Christmas Tree seeds!
  6. Bury the Christmas Tree seed in the dirt. Call them ornaments or seeds or whatever what you want, but you can't have a Christmas Tree without them! This particular seed was taken from last years' tree which was a very good year indeed as I got everything I asked Santa for!
  7. Water carefully. Too much water and the tree will be too big. Not enough water and the tree will be too small. Water it just right! DO IT!
  8. Now for the boring part. Take a nap during this phase folks, it's a real snoozer! B-O-R-I-N-G!(but necessary) Here you simply wait for the tree to so.
  9. After your nap, turn around and VOILA!
    If all your planning went right, you now have a Christmas Tree!

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