I did it for the Cookies!

One of the things that every bear loves is cookies. They are pretty much an essential food group around here, and hardly a day goes by that I don't think about cookies or chocolate or cake, yummy yummy cake, or pizza, or beer, or cocoa, of coffee - coffee - coffee, or coffee, or chocolate, or cookies....

anyhow where was I? Oh yes, cookies!

'Cause I'm a very small stuffed bear I did have some help, but mostly it was me!

Now to let you in on a little secret: The recipes that the chocolate chip companies come up with are all right! Pretty good! Not bad! I doubt any of the chocolate chip people would go about baking bad chocolate chip cookies, that wouldn't be right.

HOWEVER: Chocolate Chip companies -- like all companies, are cautious. They never tell you to use enough chocolate chips in the cookies! I guess they don't want a Death by Chocolate Overload lawsuit or something - go figure!

I will be using the Hershey's Chipit's recipe.

Might as well give you a scary warning now: A word about egg beating machines - They don't just beat eggs. Be very careful around them! They are sneaky and love making helpless little bears fall into their clutches. Probably people too!


Now on to making cookies:

Get the oven turned on and set to 375 degrees F. HURRY! This is Important. The cookies aren't gonna cook themselves!

You will need some yucky dry ingredients including some that are boring but necessary to hold the chocolate chips together, otherwise you are making soup.

• 2 cups of all-purpose flour. Use unbleached 'cause who's gonna know, and who wants bleached cookies! (Most boring stuff on Earth! no real flavor and gets in your fur)
• 1 cup of packed brown sugar, and I mean tightly packed into the cup! Not even another brown sugar bit would fit in there even if you really tried!
• 1/2 cup of plain, ordinary sugar. (slightly boring)
• 2/3 cup of large flake oats. Not quick oats, or minute oats, but the kind you have to cook for 10 whole minutes! (again rather boring)
• 1 tsp baking soda (BORING unless making science volcanoes)
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (Salty, and *sigh* you know, boring)
• lots of chocolate chips (recipe says 2 cups but I usually go with at least 3!)
  

Here I am "sampling" the boring ingredients while at the same time packing the brown sugar tightly!



You will also need the following "wet" ingredients:

• 1 cup of unsalted butter that has been left wrapped on the counter for a few hours and can be easily squished with your finger. (Not really boring per se, but not super-interesting either - although squishing it is fun!)
• 2 large eggs (which are blechy gooey things that come from inside chickens)
• 1 and 1/2 tsp vanilla (These are very important cookies please use the real stuff!)
  

Take the flour, baking soda and salt and mix them together with a fork or spoon to make sure everything is well mixed. Set aside (mostly 'cause this bowl of stuff is a yawner!).

Put the butter in another, bigger, bowl than you think you'll need. Eventually Everything will go into that bowl, so it should be pretty big!

Using the mixer, mix up the butter as best you can. Usually when it thinks that it is pineapple it is mixed up enough.

Now, slowly scoop out the brown sugar from the measuring cup. don't put it all in at once 'cause that will make a mess. Add about 1/4 at a time, let it mix and add more. Do the same with the granulated sugar.

Keep mixing and mixing and mixing and mixing until you're bored, then mix more until the butter only has small sugar grains in it (hint: test frequently as this is yummy!). Once you're really tired of mixing this stuff, add the eggs and the vanilla and make sure they are all mixed up and dizzy.

You should end up with a squishy gooey mass at the bottom of the bowl that is ready for you to add the glue (flour) and the Chocolate!

Now here you have options! If you have a hand mixer make sure it is rated for "cookie dough". If it isn't, break out the wooden spoon and the biceps! If you have s stand mixer you should be fine!

Now start mixing again (as if you haven't done enough already) using a slower speed and start adding the flour. You are using too fast a speed if the flour comes back up into your face and everywhere. Stop when you run out of boring flour to add. Do not beat the dough longer than you have to. If should form a sort of soft doughy blob.

Now for the best part. Grab a mixing spoon or by hand, add one dumptruck... err....the chocolate chips (and oatmeal) to the blob. Keep adding chocolate chips and stirring. Add some more chocolate chips and keep adding chocolate chips. People should by now be saying: "Whoa! that's a LOT of chocolate!" You should be looking at chocolate chips with cookie dough holding them together. Add exactly two more chocolate chips and you're done the mixing part!

Take a couple cookie sheets, cover them with parchment paper.

Take a spoon or go wash your hands and use them.

Take some of the dough, make sure if tastes all right. If it's good then take the spoon or your hand and scoop out about 1 tbsp of dough and place it on the cookie sheet. Keep doing this until you have 12 - 16 pieces of evenly-spaced dough.

Bake in the 375 degree oven for about 10 - 12 minutes.

Remove from oven and wait a couple minutes. This is difficult but essential so that the cookies "set" before you try to lift them - although if you've allowed yourself to eat only the broken cookies, why wait? Place cookies onto a cooling rack. Let cool for a couple minutes before eating 'cause chocolate gets way hot and if you burn the roof of your mouth you won't enjoy any more cookies for a while. Trust me, I know!

Enjoy with milk.